foolish

feeling completely invisible and stupid. working for something that works for something else. but yet i cant resist. i know this goal is far from where my reach extends, still i think to myself that it is possible. i looked in the mirror this morning and realized the true ugly side to whom i really am. no way will she go for it. why waste another second. she belongs to someone else now and im just swinging at clouds. no use in this tale of underdogs overcoming, for this it wont work. i thought to myself i wont fuck it up like the rest of them and it'll be different but i guess my chance to prove it wont come. for a second i fell in to this dream where all of this was real and this problem might actually be happening, maybe im just saying this to cover up the fact that it is real. maybe its not and im full of shit i guess you will see if all goes well.
i got 3 hours of sleep last night my stomach hurts my head hurts my feelings are hurt and my ego remains at a low level.
you will see what you are letting go and realize what you wanted isnt what you expected

wheres the weekend when you need it